strange hotels

by fern ghouly

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02:59
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01:50

about

strange hotels
unpublished travelogues
&
songs i'll probably never finish: demos 2015-2017

credits

released July 8, 2017

Special thanks: Casper Færgemand from Patreon!
Track 2 written by the formerly atw: pagefortysix.bandcamp.com/album/mares-ep

tags

license

all rights reserved

about

fern ghouly Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

some kind of animal/some kind of monster

Book shows: moonrockmatt [at] gmail [dot] com

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Track Name: blanket (alt version)
our summer is over and we’re heading home
we both watch the sunset from the train
you’ve seen ev’ry type of bad that i could be
i swear that i’m gonna try to change

you are my blanket
as the winter falls
just wait til springtime
and you’ll hear me call

can u imagine how we both could be
you’re chasing my tail as i explore
we’re both cooking breakfast and it smells so great
we gave our old boy clothes to the poor
Track Name: geologist (atw cover)
your interest in the earth & your penchant for stillness
thinking deep thoughts with no one to witness
you are more than your surface; your surface is flat
everything buried & hidden under that
even without those societal graces you are, without a doubt,
my best friend
far below us there's something older, long before us a trillion boulders
deep beneath us is where you'll find it, you can amaze me by telling me what's inside it
Track Name: to be a dog
Just keep yourself away from me
There’s somewhere else I would rather be
Just let me off this code-locked leash
I wanna run and I wanna breathe

But now I’m stuck, it’s harder than I realized (x3)
to be a dog

Just keep yourself away from me
This floor is cold but it’s where I sleep
It’s been three weeks, is this RP?
This is something new that I’ve never been

And now I’m fucked, much harder than I realized (x2)
And now I’m fucked, it’s harder than I realized
to be a dog

Just keep yourself away from me
You are my nightmares, haunt my dreams
I break my chains, you cuff my feet
I bite your hand, you remove my teeth

And now I’m fucked, I’m harder than I realized
I’m getting fucked, I’m harder than I realized (x2)
Now I’m a dog
Track Name: i used to treat people like objects
I used to treat people like objects

I used to treat people like objects

I hope that nobody objects

I used to treat people like objects

I used to beg when I cried

I used to just cover my eyes

I used to lay down and diiiie

I used to cover my eyes

I used to put salt on my wounds

I used to pretend they weren’t due

And never put salt in my food

I used to pretend they weren’t due

I used to wake up on the floor

I don’t sing those songs anymore

I used to try to seem adorable

I don’t sing those songs anymore able

Oh I want to live in the mountains

Oh I want to live in the mountains

I want to never be found AND

AND I want to live in the mountains
Track Name: hold your breath
You were shy like Fluttershy
When I kissed you, you scrunched your eyes
You didn’t say so it wasn’t a lie
I’m a thief so I had to pry

Just hold your breath
You ain’t felt nothin’ yet
I’ll take my time
You’re gonna lose your mind

I had a contract undefined
There was more I wanted to find
Couldn’t take it, couldn’t deny
The temptation—lights off, let’s try

Hold your breath
You ain’t felt nothin’ yet
I’ll take my time
You’re gonna lose your mind

I need an angel
To turn back time and really slap me
I need an angel
To tell me that my wounds will trap me
Here

You were shy like fluttershy
I was too drunk you were too high
He cut me out of his life
I don’t need him! I never cry!

Hold your breath
You ain’t felt nothin’ yet
I’ll take my time
You’re gonna lose your mind

Hold your breath
You ain’t felt nothin’ yet
I’ll take my time
You’re gonna lose your mind
Track Name: never be sober again
I clutch onto things just a little too hard
Throwing out my old shit was just the first part
Of this on-going-battle since I don’t know when
To be better than I’ve ever been
So I’ll never be worse off again

When I was sixteen I was riddled with rage
Fuck your religion! A war I will wage!
A true lazy fatass, the worst of all men
And I wondered why I had no boyfriend
Oh, I’ll never be sixteen again

I am a glutton and my drug is beer
I gained 15 pounds the first half of this year
If I stop eating so much, I could drink and lose ten
Or quit drinking, well what happens then…
No, I’ll never be sober again

I’ll never be sober again
I’ll never be sober again
Track Name: more time
I need a bit, a little bit more time to explore you
I need a bit, a little bit more time ‘cause I adore you
I need a bit, a little bit more time my heart’s torn through
Oh, oh, oh, oh

I need a bit, a little bit to find what I am after
I wanna quit, leaving you it feels like a disaster
I need a bit, need a bit more time it’s moving faster
Oh, oh, oh, oh

I’ve watched the sunrise from a bus
Heading east away like me from us
Try to catch the wifi, it’s a bust
Going back I’ll have to readjust

I can’t explain what you mean to me in text
I guess I’ll just press delete
When will we meet again I’ll have to see
More time with you is what I need

Forget it all, I wanna stay
I can’t throw this all away
Track Name: normal
I used to drink whiskey on the rocks
Now I eat my lunch alone on the dock
I used to get frisky in the park
Now I have my fun alone in the dark

Well I’m in a lot less pain
But it feels wrong in my brain
This normal is driving me insane

I used to hair-trigger and get real mad
And make walls of sound and they were sad sad sad
I used to crash parties —————
—————————

Well I hope I quickly change
‘cause I hate to be so lame
This normal is driving me insane

There’s a wave a-comin from the harbor and I hope I’m gonna drown
Everything is moving much too fast, I wanna outrun the crowd

I used to walk briskly so the walk would end
Now I sit and listen, now I walk with friends
—————————
——————————

Well I’m in a lot less pain
But it feels wrong in my brain
This normal is driving me insane
Track Name: over and over
Fearing the fine may fall

we build nostalgia walls

And over and over it’s all the same for me

Toast and egg and cheese

And you can’t just stay nineteen

You have to wake & dream

And over and over it’s all the same

But over and over you gradually change

And you never stay the week

And you never drank coffee

And you don’t find refuge here

What do you mean its been a rough year?
Track Name: utah
I’ll just forget who I am
It helps the time flow
Tampa to Seatac and back
It’s such a long way to go

Now we’re out of gas
17 miles to shore
60 North Main Street
84064

And now we’re off again
Can’t get you out of my mind
As through the rockys we climb

I’m behind the wheel
Your promise keeps me alive
It’s such a long long long drive

i hate hotels
i hate the fame
i hate myself
i hate my name

autumn nights cause the weirdest dreams
what we have aint what it seems

And now we’re off again
Can’t get you out of my mind
As through the rockys we climb

I’m behind the wheel
Your promise keeps me alive
It’s such a long long long drive
Track Name: breed
Talk, talk is cheap
I can keep a ball inside my mouth and be pleased
I walk on my knees
I am used to all the strains but one thing aches me

Do you love, do you love, do you love me? (x3)
Or do you just love to breed?

Look, look at me
I am happy just to serve you all you’re needing
You took all the keys
Everytime you leave me longer I get weary

Do you love, do you love, do you love me? (x4)
Will you stay, will you stay, will stay with me? (x3)
Or will just bury me?
Track Name: i think of u
i wake up
wash a plate
eat some food
& think of u

go to work
make my wage
pay what's due
& think of u

i think of u
& i hope u do 2